For a Friend in Need of a Push in the Right Direction- A First Draft

To the wishful face in my mirror
asking how to move on
asking where to go from here
advice on how to be strong

stop blinking, stop crying,
start drying your eyes
stop wishing, stop hoping
stop accepting all the lies

Dare to dream another day
as you step out your front door
Don't discourage others who
are looking to find more

People move and change like airwaves
static up and static down
Just tune your radio one more time
the right friends can always be found

To the wishful face in my mirror
Who'd give the same advice to me
There's always another doorway
You just need to find the right key

Tech Troubles

I need a distraction

from the fact my friend won't focus on my face

But instead on their phones

Because I feel lonely in a world where

people hold bricks to their eyes and ears to block out others

My coffee grows cold in my hand as I try to have a conversation

Offering someone condolences on a bad day

But what do you need me for

You have Twitter

140 characters who can act better than me

Because I can't feign acceptance of the technology that takes over our lives

I want a real piece of art

A relationship not deluded by pixels and pieced together letters with no vowels

Because you can't think of real words to say to me

That's what I said, omg

I want a relationship to work because we can work on ourselves face to face

Not with a Skype icon in the middle

I'm a lets talk about life kind of woman

Who only uses iMessage to send a message saying lets get together

So that I can see the emotions as you talk and not the emoticons as you text

I don't live in a sims game, I don't need virtual people in my life

And yes I'm guilty

I do it too

But that's because I don't know what else to do

as you stare between the clear and blue blurbs on your phone

Waiting for you to make plans with someone else so you can meet up with them too

And text me saying lets do it again soon

What is the upper hand of the uninterested

What do we get from showing so little concern when it comes to clear communication and a respect of someone's time

So next time you pull out your phone as we talk

And I ask you what's up and you say oh, I just gotta send this message

Well you better check the time as well

Because I pronounce time of death on this relationship

But no worries right?

You can ask Siri for advice

For a Friend in Need of a Poem About Love -a first draft

There is nothing so frustrating as to be in love.
Nothing so painful, so slow, so tempting.
There is no such substance as is love that can make someone feel so daunted,
so somber of their life and surroundings
doubtful of who they are and what they represent
to other people.

Love is not about you, though
love is not about who you think you are
or who you want to be
Love is what makes you different from other people
love is the catalyst you pour into a mix to make all the flavors unique
love is so selfish as to make you think it is about you and yet so invigorating to find out that it is not

Love my dear, is not something you can hold in your hand and release
It is not something you can control or contrive
Darling, it's not on a timer but it doesn't last forever either
Not unless you realize, it's not about you

It's not about you and it's not about them
Love, you see so blindly
It's an uncontrollable force with a mind of its own
And while you should not join the circus,
a ringmaster can reduce a lion so it looks to purr
but in it's heart, it knows where it belongs

You may control it as well as a forest fire
You may tame it as well as the sea
you may follow it where it leads you
But only you can set yourself free

Love dear, is about not knowing what love is, but chasing it anyways.

14. “Describe yourself as fully and accurately as possible in 140 characters.”

I am looking for the epitome of balance; how much can I inspire others, and how much can others inspire in me, without complete dependence. 

#Pinterest Problems

In case you don't know me, or you haven't been in the 21st century that long (hello! time traveler), there is this amazing new thing called Pinterest. It is this interactive bulletin board that allows you to find, organize and review your favorite pictures and embedded links. They have ideas ranging from friendship bracelet ideas to the best kept recipes to the top ten ways you can unclog your toilet, and everything in between. It's completely addictive, and I like it because its visual, creative, inspiring and it expands my vocabulary. Yes my friends, it makes me smarter by allowing me to pin words (that do exist and) that I've never heard before. Words that once you have in your vocabulary, not only do you feel smarter and more powerful, but more creative as well. Here are some of those words:

In honor of all these words, I am going to try and use a new one every day in my writings. If there's a word you don't know, that might be it!

6. “What makes you happy?”

I feel like less and less people can say that a lot of things make them happy. The world is becoming a far more picky place, making it a rare occurrence to feel bliss or a smile and everything in between. I am proud to say, however, there are many things that make my heart sing, but for time's sake I can't list them all, so here are just a few.

*this list does not include people, dogs or any other living creatures, for fear of the obvious*

#4. Hugs 

So for anyone who has talked to me in the last (we'll say) 3 months, I've been slightly obsessed with the 5 Languages of of Love (Gary Chapman people, look him up). Surprise surprise I am most receptive to physical touch (see exibit A),

which means there is not much I like more in the world than being trampled by people who just want a good squeeze. There should be one of those signs that say keep calm and give kings a hug.

#12. The Grocery Store

Because who doesn't love the place where all your nutritious, food related dreams come true. There is nothing like walking down the isle and seeing the pasta you've been craving, or those orange milanos you can almost never find, or all the things you didn't realize you needed (to make you fat) but you're there so why not?! A trip to the grocery store is like Christmas, and sunshine, and pretty much every Tuesday.

#17. HPU

 

While I am still young, restless, nerdy and dead serious about nothing except mealtimes, I feel like college is good for me. Not just, you know, for the edjamacation and stuff, but also because I get to live on my own (with the love, support, and joint bank accounts of mom and dad back home{hi}) but I also get to explore who I am and what I like and how many times I can get subway in a week without it affecting my hormones. Realistically, I can't stay in school forever, but that just means I have to make the most out of my last two years.

#21. Pine Tree Camp

The last three summers have been the best. Ever. There is nothing so fun as summer, and nothing so rewarding as working at PTC for 9 weeks. I have the most amazing campers in the world; they make me laugh so hard I cry, and yet they never fail to reassure me I'm a counselor. No Way?! 

Dawn, if you ever read this, I just googled imaged PTC. None of these pics I uploaded.

#26. Being an English Writing Major

First of all, let me just clarify that I am not one of these people.

That doesn't mean I'm ok with people mixing up you're and your, or there, they're and their, but I don't think grammar is the bees knees and I almost didn't pass my first high school English class thanks to gerunds and prepositional phrases. But alas, I did, and I'm so thankful for that because if I hadn't, I never would have experience the thrill of detective fiction with Dr Carlson or the abstract (but not really, cause there are guidelines) art of creative writing with Jacob Paul. But I love writing; I like turning my ideas tangible and making stories come (within a mind) to life. 

...but sometimes you just gotta buckle down and do it. And next thing you know, you'll be on your way to becoming a better writer. 

The Mixing of Happiness

Unless you are a monk somewhere, or live in a third world country, or had really really strange parents, you have heard of TV. it’s probably even likely that you've watched a couple (or more) shows in your time, and for that, I congratulate you on being human. But until recently, I didn't think TV mattered that much. I thought it was mild entertainment that moved with the times to pacify the people and put time into staring at a screen. But today, I actually learned something.

Most of the shows I like get cancelled. Sad but true I have very eclectic tastes when it comes to TV, and most of the shows I appreciate are quirky and maybe a bit off the beaten path. That’s not to say they’re weird, but more they don't appeal to the general population in the long run. Yeah, I guess, normally they're pretty weird...that or really, really bad.

ABC this year premiered several new shows for their spring line up. Among those was a show called Mixology, a show set in a hip New York bar where ten initial strangers struggle to find what might be love by last call. There were all sorts of couple combinations; the pushover and the emotional commitment phobe; the bearded red head and the sexy mother from Newark; the slightly self absorbed waitress and the over zealous, commitment freak black guy. The couple I rooted for most however were Ron and Liv, the sexy blond Brit who just lost everything by bankrupting his start-up and the “whatever’s fine” Indian woman who almost settled with a boring marriage. The impression given in the episode before the season finale (spoiler alert) was that the two were going to do what Liv had always wanted to do: travel to India to ride an elephant... together. The finale, however, has Liv calling another main character and best friend, Maya, to tell her that she and Ron are on their way to JFK and that Ron has taken care of all the details. In their short phone conversation the two friends talk mostly about Maya’s inability to commit, but Maya also reminds Liv of why she wanted to go to India; to find herself after finding out she didn’t really know what she wanted in life. The finale has Liv leaving Ron in the taxi to fly, that same night, to India to discover who she really is.

To be honest, it sounds a bit better on paper, but trust me, in the show, you as a viewer are rooting for this couple to be together; they have great chemistry, they make each other happy, and they saved the other from making mistakes they would have regretted the rest of their lives. You root for them because you want them to be happy; to fall in love and live happily ever after because that is what you think is best for them; to be together.

The big reveal to this whole narrative is that while I was thinking after the show, I was tempted to rewrite (for my own satisfaction) the ending to that particular story, so that in the end they would both be happy. I realized that wouldn’t have worked, because even if I delved halfway back through the show I would have never addressed the issue that Liv needed to find out who she was on her own and that she could never have done that while romantically involved with Ron, or her ex fiance Jim. I realized that I just wanted the characters to be happy...But why can’t Liv be happy? Who’s to say she won’t have a great time in India and find herself and find faith and freedom in a country she’s from but never been to. Why does she need Ron to make her happy, when clearly her story is far from over and she’s about to start on this incredible journey through life. She was 28 and didn’t even know what kind of drink she wanted at the bar, or if she preferred an aisle or window seat.Yes, those are both first world preferences, but it doesn’t disqualify them as choices she needed to make. I realized while watching that show that just because the night is over and the guy who you thought you might like you’re not so into anymore, doesn’t mean that tomorrow you can’t look in the mirror and know you made the right choice by choosing to be by yourself, finding yourself. The show, which is now officially over, will serve as a very needed wake up call and reminder that you do not need a guy to make you happy. If you’re Liv, you need  a bunch of tequila and a ticket to India. If you’re the rest of us, the only thing you really need is the journey.